I'm too embarrassed to even mention my name on this; plus, I don't want to scare women away!

I have some bad allergies that really act up bad now and again.  Once I was getting lucky with a first date.  We had just gotten completely undressed and I was kissing her neck (I was on top) when I felt this... well, nasal problem, shall we say?  I tried to pull away to get a kleenex near the bed, but she kept holding my head to her every time I tried.  I finally had to force her hands away from my head and pulled away for a kleenex.  Too late.  This long, endless piece of snot ran from my nose down onto her... we'll say stomach but it was higher than that... yeah, it hit the twins.  She shrieked, jumped up, got dressed and left.  She never returned any of my calls.  So close!

That is pretty bad, dude.  Get some allergy medicine, already!  Better luck next time. 

 totally off topic dude!!